It's okay to be not okay sometimes.

 

It was an early morning when her room was covered with deep darkness. The darkness was spread all around but a ray of light was coming out of the curtains of the window. She was sitting in her bed with a depressed heart covering her head with her arms around her knees. A havoc of thoughts is going through her mind. Her heart feels heavy, her tired eyes as if she hasn’t slept for ages and her body feels almost dead and sluggish. She is in the last stage of disappointment- the disappointment from life.

She finally decided to take those pills and attempt suicide. She lifted her head and her eyes got stuck on the canvas which lies straight on the easel. Just a glance at this canvas takes her to dive deep into the ocean of memories. She got a flashback of the times when she used to paint and she was believed to be the happiest girl alive when everybody used to say “We can not believe that u can be sad ever” and “Your smile is the prettiest of all”. She remembers the time when she glowed differently, the times when everybody used to hover around her but somebody said TIME CHANGES so it does. Time changes and how it changed that it turned the most happy girl into an ordinary most depressed girl. Time changes and it has changed everything with it now. Time changes and today is the day when she is ready to stop her heart from beating, today is the day when she is ready to turn her almost dead into real death.

She stood up to take those pills bottle from the drawer and suddenly her eyes got stuck on a poster which can be seen from the little part of the window that is uncovered with curtains. That poster states: “YOUR LIFE IS VALUABLE.” She was shocked because, in her 21 years of life, she had never seen this poster before so why now? why right this moment?

“Is it for me ?” she whispered in a faint voice.

“YES!’’ an inner voice came, “Your life is valuable, it is not that cheap that you can take this easily.”

“But I have nothing to live for!” she cried.

“Don’t you have yourself?” the inner voice replied.

“I have! But nobody loves me,” she said with all the pain in her voice.

“Is love that necessary? To be loved is a feeling everyone loves but a human can still be happy without being loved by others. Why don’t you give yourself the love that you expect from others? If you want someone to give you flowers why just you don’t give yourself a flower?” The inner voice provided logic.

“But this world doesn’t accept me as I am”. she gives an argue

“Why are you looking for approval from others for yourself? Until you are satisfied with yourself you don’t have to beg for acceptance from people”. The inner voice came.

“But it hurts!” she said.

“It does and let it hurt. It’s just a phase and you are not going to remain in this forever.” the inner voice replied.

“I find no purpose,” she said.

“Don’t worry then purpose will find you at the right time” the inner voice replied.

“I am useless !” She exclaimed.

“You are not useless because your God created nothing purposeless” the inner voice replied.

“But everybody in the world is happy. I make no difference in anyone’s life” she said with tears in her eyes.

“If you think that u make no difference in anyone’s life so start doing things that make a difference in someone’s life. Help someone who needs it and you’ll see that you’ll mean the world to them” the calm inner voice came.

“I feel emptiness in doing things which I used to love doing”. She said in a sad voice.

“If you feel emptiness in doing things u used to love now why don’t you try new things in which you would find peace now? Maybe life wants some change now.” It replied.

“The world has snatched my colors !” She said.

“Don’t give this right to anyone. You are the artist of your life don’t give the paintbrush to the world” it replied.

“I feel miserable. I don’t know why but I just don’t feel okay” She said in a very tired tone as she carried the burden of the whole world.

“IT’S OKAY TO FEEL NOT OKAY SOMETIMES and even it is good for us sometimes to be sad or grieved because if we never experience sadness or dark we will never know the worth of bright phases and happy days.” It replied.

“There is no one who can tell me that I’ll be okay. So why, why should I live, shouldn’t I be dead?” She said

“Why don’t you tell yourself to be okay? Isn’t it a good feeling to be emotionally independent? You don’t have to depend on people for compliments, for affirmations that you matter. Make yourself enough for you” the inner voice replied.

Suddenly a ray of hope came into her life but suddenly again a wind of hopelessness came and she whispered in a low voice.

“But sometimes I feel the need of someone to assure me that I am enough, someone who assures me that I can do it.” She said

“Look if you think people around you don’t love you then there must be people who would love you maybe not now but in the future and as they said TIME CHANGES so this phase is not gonna stay forever, it will end soon. Just a bad phase of life doesn’t make the whole life bad” It came from the deepest of her heart.

She quickly threw that bottle of pills away, drank water and washed her face and decided to get back to life. 
Time flew and flew. Her wounds are healed now. Three years later her name was called on stage as the head of a successful youth organization in an annual function of a college. Standing on the dice, holding Mike near her face with an unmatched charm in her personality she started her speech: “Every phase of your life is important. If that dark phase that scares you the most had not happened then you would have never become strong and someone who you are today because the beautiful rainbow always comes after the heaviest storms. Learn to enjoy sadness too, learn to enjoy solitude too, learn to enjoy every feeling that scares you, learn to enjoy just whatever you feel. Life is beautiful when you think it is beautiful. Life and time are not always going to be the same, remember this in your good and bad phase. In the good phase, it will teach you to be grateful and in the bad, it will give you hope that this too shall pass soon. And the best motivation always comes from within. Your inner self, talks and how incredible it talks !”. she said and the whole hall echoed with a big round of applause.

Never in life think that this is the end. Whenever you feel that this is the end you will definitely see that end will somehow become the beginning of a new beautiful journey. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON INDEED.